Church And Faith: When It All Goes Wrong

When Church Is Toxic To Your Faith....
Previously published on Facebook

"Why I Don't Go To Church" - Matthew (not his real name) was a newly ordained Priest. He was elated when his duties in the Parish included the Youth program at the School Hall on Friday nights. Matt was often seen in sweats, instead of his strict, and restricting Black collar and clergy garb. "that's just for mass" he'd tell kids.

Elijah (not his real name) was a High School Junior, a 'gym rat' and Sports junkie. Him and his friends were always at the school gym, or the nearby High School fields. Football, Basketball, Baseball... whatever season had a sport - they were there. So was "Father" Matthew. Elijah and his friends joked; "Father"? You're only a couple years older than us." So, it was settled, they just called him "Matt". Out of clerics - he was just 'another one of the boys'.

Soon, Monsignor was well pleased with Matthew and his seemingly easy demeanor and ability to 'attract' boys to the CYO (Church Youth Organization). No one wondered why there were hardly any teen girls.

Often "Matt" would meet up with a boy or some of the boys. After school. At the gym. Around the neighborhood. He took a liking to Andrew. But, Elijah was his "Buddy". A few times meeting him after school, at school, and 'going out'.

Then, Andrew asked Elijah if 'Father ever 'acted funny' with him. Elijah laughed and said "What do you mean, funny? Yeah, he cuts up and tell jokes. Ummm, sure, I guess, I mean he even told me a few dirty jokes." Why?" Andrew just grimaced. When Elijah pushed the issue, Andrew burst into to tears telling his friend "I think I may be gay." E laughed, again, at first, but, then comforted his friend and asked for an explanation.

It seemed that "Father" Matt had taken Andrew and another boy to see a "R" rated movie with a few sexy, steamy scenes. In the car on the way back he was talking about the movie. He exposed himself to Andrew and the other boy. He told them it was "OK" and that it was just their 'hormones'. Soon the 3 of them were at an apartment downtown, where they'd never been before with Matt and another friend. Things happened.
For the boys, for Andrew, "Bad things".

Elijah and Andrew agreed to not talk about the issue anymore. No one else knew. The other boy moved that summer.

Matt was later transferred. No one knew where. But, the teens in CYO started to just hang out and not at the Church School Hall.

None of them attended Mass after Graduation. It was a "Requirement" during High School, but now, young men, they decided 'against church'.

I ran into one of them once, and asked about church, God and 'religion'. The answer? "Well, yeah, a lot of 'stuff' happened. I put that away for awhile. I mean, I don't really go to church anymore."

I wondered why. I knew. But, I wanted to not know. - M ✝️
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Copyright 2018 DMB Communications

Brother Michael, OSL
The Order of St Luke

A Semi-Fictional recounting of a true story. The names were changed to protect the privacy of the victims of clergy sex abuse. Clergy Sex Abuse - or Priest Abuse is a problem in the Roman Catholic Church, but not only the R C Church.

1 in 3 girls and 1 in 5 boys will be the victim of childhood sex abuse or exploitation by the age of 18.

This is dedicated to them, and to the tortourous memories. May they one day find peace, real true peace, Shalom in the Arms of a God who loves them. Not a poor representative of a system that failed them.